Two things:
First, I get disoriented every allergy season, major weather changes and african dust past decade. Its very disorienting and I never knew where it was from (it lasts upwards of 3 weeks). I never studied how allergies worked until this weekend and it may be the cause of this disorientation. Well see if its a mold allergy or something as I am doing the whole thing, dehumidifier, allergy pills, nasal sprays. I pray to our Lord thats why.
Second, I spent the past two days with family as my grandma might not make it to the end of the week. She is in hospice. I sat with her. My uncle and aunt sat around her as well and I did the usual stuff — held her hand, spoke with her a bit for those two days, etc. However my uncle, who is the only one well-off in our family, looked at me very seriously the whole time. He is very John Hagee.
I tried to get along by smiling and relating on common topics and I endured this sort of seriousness at me to stay with my grandma those two days. That seriousness relates to question #1. Okay next is personal notes for us :)
Here are some good notes for us — we say in psychosis recovery whenever a new member joins your support network you have to train them and you have to train yourself on how they bless you and you to them, always mutually beneficial and mutual training.
At the beginning me and all my family were terrible at supporting each other. I trained myself and all my family over a decade little by little whether they knew it or not. I hope to train myself and we train each others, you my priest and Stephen train me (and maybe Keith, obviously you never ask in this fashion. You scope them out then see what sticks lol) so we can be blessings to each other.
Also Students With Psychosis has been preparing its programming for 8 months so I hope they and I can revive that stabilizing force as I re-orient my support network around mixed-faith family dynamics.
And just so you can see the recipe — here are the steps for training a support network which I hide in the back of my head constantly, lol:
Oh and I like the me and Fr. David are secretly cool btw. I understand mental illness, obesity/posture, financial status and having a car affect people's perceptions heavily, we can't blame them as it is human nature and I am used to it (I try to get more used to it every day). My favorite part is when you wink. :D
Biggest question. My whole family is heterodox and apparently I am going to hell.
That is a good summary. I know you have heard it all before. I am a necromancer, idol worshipper, Marian apologist (whatever that means) and I will burn in the lake of fire. That is John Hagee's view that the staff believes but they never say it on stage.
My aunt and uncle are in this camp. They are also the most well-off in the family which creates a dynamic where their beliefs are more put forward. Very gate keeping.
The core issue is: I don't know how the prayers of these family members affect my spiritual life. Remember I don't doubt Orthodoxy as true or false at all.
My family just really believes in their faith and they hear things about Orthodoxy from other sources.
It stresses me out a lot due to them being my support network for like 12 years.
I will be going through a re-orientation of my social network I will depend less on them, it won't go away, just less. And its going to take time to train the newer networks and myself which is cool, I have done it before.
Can reckless prayers by multiple heterodox family/people in similar form of "I pray Lord Jesus Christ you confuse my son so he leaves this Satanic cult" actually spiritually harm me?
My father says he only worships Jesus. And that that's all you need is Jesus. Every time I message him about some family affairs he starts and ends with "I worship Jesus almighty alone," stuff like that. But its like dude, dad, I am Christian. He gaslights with Jesus. After 6 months of that I have to deal with inner anger against "his Jesus" and "my Jesus."
Its like you said about the puzzle pieces — my dad has Jesus put together as a completely different picture. What is the Church's teaching on Christ being divided in this way — that he has his own image of Jesus different than ours?
My biological father says Jesus tells him what to do on a daily basis. He hears a voice in his head and says "I know its God.".
That he has a personal relationship with Jesus. Is that possible? I never had a voice in my head tell me anything like that so I don't know. (When I was mentally ill only similar thing I had was visual/touch hallucinations.)
What does Orthodox teaching say about God speaking to people in their head that often?